Szwaja's Sports Blog

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Dear Dontrelle Willis, CC Sabathia, Felix Hernandez, Juan Pierre and others,

I have a beef with all of you. Listen, guys, this is professional baseball, not a 50-Cent video. Bend the brims on your hats as much or as little as you want, but, please, please wear them as they're meant to be worn.

The MLB logo on the back of your hat should be centered on your neck. (Side note: I've always wondered, the MLB logo, is that guy right or left handed? It can really go either way.) And the center of the brim should line up pretty much between your eyes, not cocked to one side. Like I said, I'm not asking you to wear your hat as well as, say, Todd Walker or Nomar wear theirs. The word "uniform" is the root of the word, "uniformity." Everyone on a team is supposed to look relatively the same.

When you guys thug it out by cocking your caps to one side, you don't look like baseball players. Baseball is a sport rich in tradition and precedent, and you guys think wearing your hat on the mound is the same as wearing your hat behind the wheel of your Escalades. It's not. You're not out there to make a fashion statement. You're out there to get guys out.

Wearing baseball hats has become trendy, thanks largely in part to Mr. 50-Cent. Never has it been so cool to wear a camouflaged San Diego Padres hat. Well, it's not cool to mimic 50 on the mound. If you guys think you look cool on the mound, you're wrong. You all look like clowns. CC, I could harp on you for your pants -- I didn't know they made boot-cut, loose-fit baseball pants -- but maybe I'll save that argument for later.

I can't imagine what's to come if you gentlemen continue your nasty trend-setting ways. I can see it now, all of you soon sporting skeleton caps under your hats with the New Era sticker still affixed to the top of the brim, which coincidently isn't bent one centimeter. If this keeps up, everyone will be doing it, including those poor kids who play in the Little League World Series. The thought of it makes me cringe. The next generation of baseball fans might never know what a real baseball player is supposed to look like. Soon, baseball players and guys in Jay-Z's posse will become interchangeable. We can't have that.

So, please, respect the game, turn your hats three inches back the other way so they're centered, and we can all get on with watching baseball peacefully again. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Mike Szwaja
Baseball Traditionalist

P.S. - Felix, Brian Anderson owns you.

5 Comments:

  • Joe Bob Briggs talks about cult movies and more
    Remember TNT's Monstervision? Damn, I loved that show, hosted by Joe Bob Briggs.
    Great Blog! If you have time see my ##business opportunities## related site. enjoy! It pretty much covers ##business opportunities## related stuff.

    By Blogger joe, at 4:59 PM  

  • I like the way you have laid out your Blog! I am currently working on one
    myself when I find time from creating new sites. It's about

    trout fishing tip
    - Have a look if you have time

    By Blogger Quit Smoking, at 5:12 PM  

  • On the Blog
    The San Diego Business Journal is 25 years old. What will be the region's biggest industry on its 50th anniversary, in 2030? Biotech and Medical Devices Defense Health Services Telecom and High-Tech ...
    Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
    I have a internet business site/blog. It pretty much covers internet business related stuff.

    Come and check it out if you get time :-)

    By Blogger tonyyy, at 5:26 PM  

  • Bloggs are such a wonderful way to plublish ones thoughts. Thanks for letting me visit and leave a comment. music downloads

    By Blogger ADRENALINE JUNKIE., at 5:34 PM  

  • I was just blog surfing and found you! If you are interested, go see my domestic airfare related site. It isnt anything special but you may still find something of interest.

    By Blogger Family Man, at 5:37 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home